1500 meters....what was I thinking

I had a few weeks to practice the swimming prior to my long Olympic Distance Triathlon in Luray, VA.

(This is normally where I would list all the stringent workouts that helped prepare me for the daunting task at hand: 1500 meter swim. 24 mile bike. 6.2 mile run.)

If a quick swim and a new bike doesn't sound like a recipe for triathlon success OR you are a serious athlete; you should quit reading now. My race recap will only make you respect me less...

I am STILL (surprise, surprise) the Worlds Slowest Doggie Paddler. I did however, spend a couple minutes actually TRYING to freestyle. It lead to panic, fear of suffocating, and the need to hang on to a the course floaty for a minute. The bottom line: I had no business participating in this event. I was in heat 2 and finished with heat 8. I was on kayak watch and every time one got in range they would ask if I was ok.....sooooo embarrassing.

After 53 minutes of doggie paddling, embarrassment, and general mortification I stumbled out of the water. On the bike portion. The bike course consisted of 4ish miles out and then a loop. I was required to do the loop twice. And in all honesty, I did ok til about 2 miles before my second loop. Then the pain set in. Pain in the shoulders, tummy, legs, head, well, you name it, it hurt. I made the easy decision to quit and head back before I did the 2nd loop.

Then Patrick came into my life. He assured me I could make it through the loop again. He knew I could do it. He gave me some strawberry GU and told me to suck it up. So, I did. Then the tummy pain worsened. All the other bikers flew by. And I was all alone. On the side of rode, throwing up.

(I don't recommend trying the GU at a pivotal moment for the very first time. That shit tore my stomach up and ultimately led to my demise)

While I was standing on the side of the rode tossing my cookies the support vehicle (complete with sirens and flashing lights) pulled up behind me. And asked if I was ok. I said yes and climbed back on my bike. I thought at that point he would go around me and find some other biker to hassle. But, no. Turns out I was the VERY LAST BIKE. Wow, I knew I was slow. But the very last biker? They stayed within 10-15 yards of me for the rest of the course. All I really wanted to do was scream: HEY! GIVE ME SOME ROOM! But I didn't. I just peddled slow and almost died of embarrassment when I got off the bike, walked it up the last hill and tossed my cookies again.

(Don't judge me. You weren't there. I was in excruciating pain.)

When I finally pulled back into the transition area there was a huge announcement: THE LAST BIKE IS IN! Really? Was that necessary? Then one of the volunteers asked me if I was going to attempt the run? WTF? Attempt the run? How dare they assume I'm a crappy runner too. Maybe I was a great runner? Maybe I would make up time running 6 minutes miles.....

Maaaaybe. But Maybe not.

Well, I don't run 6 minutes miles and it turns out I am a slow runner so Mr. Let's embarrass the last bike, you were right. I didn't attempt the run. But, I did get to be at the finish line and cheer for BF.

He did awesome! Finishing a few seconds quicker than he wanted!

After the race we headed to DC to see Morgan Page, have dinner with one of BF's friends from ND. Oh, and we got a massage.

(BF knows how to make me happy!)

We had a great dinner; full of laughs and funny stories. And in the end we were both too exhausted to make it to Morgan Page so we had a quiet night in. Cuddling. In the morning we started the 18 hour drive back to KC.

The best news? BF and I spent 36 hours in the car together over one weekend and things are still good. I think he's a keeper!