When Hubs and I first started dating we had a conversation that went similar to this:
Me: Perhaps we should keep the bodily functions down a little as to preserve a little mystery in our relationship….
Hubs: (farts) hmmmmm….ok.
Fast forward 6 months, our house is full of farts, leg chafe, and ‘perineum pain’ from biking. (Someone may or may not have asked me to look at the area in question and maybe…. help him shave it. I didn’t, but the conversation did take place!) In Hubs defense, our bodily issue conversations are not all one sided. I’m sure he secretly cringes when I talk about my monthly gift. And I can think of one particular instance that involved a hemorrhoid and the need for answers about why my butt hurt so bad.....but this post isn’t about me, it's about Hubs.
Last night I helped Hubs get his face straight. He had some crazy out of place hairs and I pulled them out for him (which he LOVES by the way) and then I did homework. When we headed upstairs to bed; he came, hairbrush in hand, and totally brushed my hair for like 30 minutes. It was soo nice. And very personal.
I’m certain in the next couple days Hubs will come up with some sort of logic that involves a conversation like this:
Me: Did you just fart again?
Hubs: Yeah
Me: Seriously?
Hubs: Well, do you remember the other night when I brushed your hair during Gossip Girl?
Me: Yeah?????
Hubs: Well, I think I get 30 free farts or something for that….
Me: Really?
Hubs: Yeah, AND did you get this week’s US Weekly yet?
Me: Yeah….
Hubs: (faaaaaaaart)
Me: Nice.
I’ll let you know how the actual conversation goes but I’m sure my vision is close!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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3 comments:
Please don't let my wife fool you. I am not the only one that farts in this relationship. In fact. I would say that the amount (quantity) of farting between the two of us is 50/50. Now, the power (quality) of farting, I will agree that I have an advantage, probably something like 80/20.
I will stand by Jill as I have never heard her pass gas!
I said earlier....this post is not about me; it's about Hubs!
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