My Name is Maggie and I Approve This Message

Last night while we were lying in bed listening to the thunderstorms, cuddling Maggie, and discussing the possibility of not actually owning a house anymore when Maggie ACCIDENTLY jumped on Hubs’ balls.  Yes, all 31lbs of her landed right in just the right spot---Hubs’ of course acted all dramatic and practically cried:

Hubs:  MAGGIE!  Owe!  Those were my BAAAALLS!

Maggie:  Dude, sorry.  She stopped petting me so I was coming over to cuddle you!  You can’t really be mad…can you?  Have you seen this face?   

Hubs:  Ohhhhhhh, my balls hurt. 

Me:  I don’t think she did it on purpose.

Hubs:  I know, but it huuuuuuurts.  Tyson never jumps on my balls!

Me:  Hmmmmm, no but Tyson does poop in the house.

Hubs:  Yeah, but that doesn’t hurt my baby making tools.

Me:  Yeah, I guess you’re right.  Poop only causes burning in your nose as you walk down the stairs and then causes dry heaving while being forced to pick up a human size deuce.  Oh, and let’s not forget you getting yelled at because YOUR dog is out of control.

Hubs:  OK OK, you are right.

Maggie:   Now, I don’t claim to be perfect.  Sure, I bark incessantly to bring possible dangers to you attention and yes, I hate kids, bikes, and pizza delivery personnel but you know what?  When the going gets tough and the minutes tick on during a long day trapped in the confines….I don’t poop in the house!  You can leave me alone for hours and hours and hours---poop free….unlike OTHER dogs (screen shot of a local boxer we all know and love)  Vote Maggie.   I don’t poop in the house.   I’m Maggie and I approve this message.