Who Knows A Good Therapist?

Dear Girl Who Tried to Drown Me,

I have 6 purple/green/yellow bruises all over my legs.  I’m pretty sure they were caused by the thrashing and struggling we did at the KC Tri.  Sorry to bring this to your attention so late, I originally thought the first two bruises were from falling off my bike at the Spin Ride but now that there’s so many I can only assume they were from all the times you kicked me on Sunday….

Anyway, I just wanted you to know, I might need therapy; please let me know where to send the bill....

Love,

Jillian