My Declaration to the World

The last couple weeks the universe has been screaming the words, “Hey, missy, you’ve gained a few (noticeable) lbs.” 

          First, my mom took me shopping.  She bought me shorts and tops and more shorts.  Her exact words as we were in the dressing room, “Now you have clothes that fit.”  While I tried to argue my old clothes fit fine, she pointed out that I wear the same stuff over and over and even that stuff is too tight.  So, I graciously thanked her for the new comfortable clothes and happily loaded them into my car.  (Sidenote: the new clothes are much more comfy than my old ones—but let’s not tell the whole world.) 

         While we were checking out, my mom and I were having a typical mother daughter exchange.  You know the ones, the ones where mothers suggest you do stuff (like finally throw out all those zeros you will never wear again) and daughters argue that moms don’t know stuff (like I might get back in those zeros if I completely stop eating and spit into a cup all day like a high school wrestlers cutting weight before the big match; “the big match” being my life.) 

          During my rebuttal the checkout lady chimes in to the tune of:  WHO WAS A ZERO?  YOU WERE A ZERO?  GIIIIIIRL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?”  Seriously lady?  Was that entirely necessary?  Mom just giggled.  I shook my head.

         Then, the nail in the weight loss coffin:  I stopped to visit an old account.  I hadn’t been there since I left my last job back in February--the first words out her mouth?  “You’re Preggers??!?!?”  No, but I have several pregnant friends so maybe I’ve just gained sympathy weight?  They of course, laughed and said marriage was agreeing with me….

         Anyway, I’ve made the decision to lose the extra pounds I’ve put on eating queso, French toast sticks and pizza.  I’ve talked to my good buddy Erin and she talked me through the basics of what I should be eating and how to make them weight loss friendly for me but still delicious for Hubs because there is nothing like a healthy tasting meal that makes you wanna scarf down an entire pizza AFTER you’ve already eaten all those healthy meal calories…not that Hubs and I know from experience or anything. (wink wink)

          So, this is my declaration to the world:  By the end of the summer I will be 20lbs lighter.  I guarantee it.  No one (or at least me) should ever be asked if they are pregnant until they are ACTUALLY pregnant.   Queso doesn't taste THAT good.  I’m just saying….