The Big 31

Today is my birthday.  The big 31.  And while I mostly still feel like I’m in my 20’s a few things have definitely changed (in no particular order): 

• There was a time (not too long ago) when I could smell my own feet.  That’s right folks; I could get my toes to my nose with no problem at all.  A few weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch with Hubs and noticed that my feet felt a little sweaty (which sort of concerned me since I had just showered) so since they were in Hubs’ lap, I asked him if they smelled.  He made a gross face so I grabbed one of them and pulled it towards my nose only to realize I could only get it a little over half way and in the process made a sound like a 90 year old women had just stooped down and got back up.  I seriously thought my hips might have broken it was so loud!  I still don’t know if my feet smelled that night.


• My metabolism is not coming back.   Like Ever.  It’s a struggle to merely maintain my current weight.  And my love affair with food is growing stronger and stronger year to year. 


• There was a time my biggest “want” was a fun night out and a nice boyfriend.  Now my biggest wants revolve around moving into an actual house coupled with getting Hubs to load the dishwasher and pick up his clothes.


• I’m still not sure what ‘Get your Diamonds Up’ means….


• 4 inch heels are getting less and less comfortable.  And comfort wins out on fashion more times than not....nothing beats a good pair of fuzzy boots and leggings!


• Having a baby has turned into a high priority.  Cause seriously, I’m not getting any younger.  It was only a couple years ago my girlfriend and I joked around about having a 'community' baby...now I really want one of my own.

I’m sure this list will grow longer and longer the older and older I get but for right now, I’m hanging on to my youth as long as possible.  Sure I could have smelly feet while wearing fat girl pants but all in all it’s not so bad....

Who Actually Knows Someone With 1/2 A Kid?

So, I have a ton of topics that need to be discussed, none worthy of their own post so here they are:

• I purchased the Laser Hair Removal Groupon a couple weeks ago but cannot get up the nerve to actually make the appointment.  I mean, I hate needles --- I cried like a baby when I was forced to take an additional measles shot when I was 19 (yeah, I know laser treatment isn’t NEEDLES but I’m just trying to give you a measuring stick for my pain tolerance.  It’s low.)  So, now every time I think about calling and making my first appointment I immediately get sweaty and nervous.  I think Hubs is gonna have to go with me….isn’t that why women get married?  So, they have someone to drag along on scary (albeit elective) appointments?


• Fusion is working.  I know it.  I can feel it in my legs and butt and shoulders and abs.  And I’ve noticed that every time I think I’m building up some sort of tolerance to the level of Fusion I’m doing there is a more advanced modification; and so begins the pain all over again.  I think that is why I love it.  When I started the only parts that got sore were my back, abs, and shoulders.  But the stronger I get the more deep I can feel the exercises.  It’s like a light goes off and I can finally understand what the exercise is SUPPOSE to feel like and I feel like such a dumbass because I’ve been actively participating in the exercise without being able to tell which part it was suppose to be working.  Maybe it’s because I wasn’t strong enough to work the parts intended or maybe it just takes a bit of practice.  Either way, it’s working.   I can tell--even if the scale doesn’t agree with me….


• Hubs and I’s relationship feels good.  We are as happy as we’ve ever been.  Or at least I am.  It’s amazing how putting a little bit of distance (aka independence) on things makes such a big difference.  I feel like I’ve owned the things I want to be doing: Pilates, reading, school, running, and not worrying so much about our schedules lining up.  Which in turn has basically put the urgency on him and he responded right away!  I felt the shift immediately and I have to admit…it feels kinda good


• Our finances have been locked down.  Hubs got his allowance and he finally seems to own the amount.  Before, he would qualify purchases (food, drinks, snacks, exercise, misc crap) item by item and day by day whether they fell in the allowance or debit card category.  But now, EVERYTHING falls in allowance and it makes a difference since I do't have to log in to see what he's spent before we go to dinner or something.  The Carter Family has two major financial priorities right now:  paying down bills and buying a house.   I think if we can keep up this pace we will be out of debt and living the American dream in no time; although I’m not sure the 2.5 kids fit in our plan so we might just have 1 or 2 (depending on the sex of the first one) and let Juls/Bret have the our extra 1.5/.5--then they can have an even 3 or 4.  That sounds easier than trying to have ½ a kid…I hope Juls and Bret appreciate our generosity!  

Oh, and since you brought it up---kids.  We're working on it (and that’s all I have to say about that)

If The Journey Starts with Eating...I'm IN.

Eat Pray Love was released last week I’m hoping it lives up the book because I’m super excited to see this movie.  I read Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir a while ago and it really resonated with me; a woman who abandoned an unsatisfying marriage to live life on her own terms?  Yes, please.  (This book surfaced in my life shortly after I made the decision to leave my own crappy nuptials.)

          Now, I wasn’t able to abandon everything and travel around the world like Elizabeth Gilbert but I did make the decision to take control and live alone in a city where the only people I knew were force to spend the hours of 9-5 with me (I had just started and only knew a couple people better than just being able to recall their first AND last name—those few people became my Chicago family and without them I might have ran home to Kansas City quicker than you could say---nice to know ya.)  Maggie (a dog that still appreciates any weekend plans to stay in, make pizza and watch movies) and I took a couple years to figure out who we were, what we wanted, and where we wanted to be---for me, all roads led right back to my hometown.  For Maggie, the journey was a little less complicated but after her initial excitement to be out of a house where only her Mommy appreciated her, she decided she could be happy as long as there was a steady flow of cuddles and puppy food. 

          In my short life, I’ve left my hometown again and again and somehow always manage to find my way back---the story of my life:  a restless adventurer.  But what I've always needed (even now) is exactly what Elizabeth Gilbert found in her journey:  Balance.  Balance in life, friends, family, work, and relationships. 

          I don’t think this movie could have been released at a better time.  I need to be reminded that without balance it will inevitably fall apart.  I need to make sure that I’m cultivating the most important relationship in my life—the one I have with myself and I need to make sure I’m doing the things that I’m doing because that’s what I WANT to be doing.  (Don’t get me wrong, I know relationships are a give and take and I’m completely down with compromise but on the other hand, it’s so easy for me to chameleon myself into someone else’s stuff.)   I like doing a lot of different things so it’s easy for me to just go along until I wake up and realize I’m not doing any of the things I like to do anymore.   

          Which brings me to the good timing of this movie, I’ve noticed in the last couple months, the comment to Hubs, “we always do what you wanna do,” is coming out of my mouth more and more and while it’s normally delivered in a playful tone lately it’s gotten less playful each time I say it.  So, in an effort to get back to the things I like, Hubs has started wakeboarding and reduced the pressure on swimming/running down to nil.  I think we’ve come to an understanding that if I’m going to do something that he likes we need to at least do it together—aka triathlon-ing (and I’m sure there are a million other examples I could come up with but those are the only ones sticking out right now.)

         Back when Hubs and I started dating he constantly told me how much he loved my independent nature and it was one of the things that drew him to me but somewhere along way I’ve misplaced that independence.  And now with the release of Eat Pray Love, I have a revived urgency to take some of that liberating independence back…